


I Had a Heart Then

by Achika



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Identity Porn, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 01:33:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15570816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Achika/pseuds/Achika
Summary: And so I tell myself that I'll be strong / And dreaming when they're goneKevin's late night Internet surfing wakes something up. And something is wrong with Sami.





	I Had a Heart Then

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Moonsault](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonsault/gifts).



It’s late. Late enough that Kevin should be sleeping instead of laying awake staring at the hotel room ceiling and resolutely not looking at the alarm clock on the side table.  But for some reason, sleep won’t come.

Kevin caves and grabs his phone. Maybe some mindless scrolling through idiots on twitter will bore him enough he’ll fall asleep.

It doesn’t, but he does see a wrestling gif someone posted that punches him in the gut with nostalgia so intense he can’t breathe for what feels like forever.

It’s stupid. It’s not like he doesn’t see clips of him and Generico all the time, the internet won’t let him forget, and this isn’t even them. But there’s something about it that hits Kevin’s brain like a gong and reverberates all through him.

Maybe it’s the lack of sleep, maybe he’s just exhausted from dealing with Shane McMahon’s bullshit, but Kevin doesn’t stop himself when he gets the idea to send the gif to Generico’s old phone number. Because it doesn’t matter, Generico died years ago. So he sends it off into the 3AM void with a _Remember when…?_ And an _I miss this_ that no one will ever see.

It helps, a little. Kevin settles back into his bed, fluffs the pillow and wraps the blankets back around himself. He closes his eyes, ready to try sleep again.

His cell phone rings.

Kevin groans and grabs the phone, because if someone’s calling at 3AM it’s probably important but if someone’s not dying Kevin’s going to kill them himself.  It takes a second for the numbers on the screen to make sense in Kevin’s brain but once it clicks for the second time in the night he can’t breathe.

“Hello?” He says tentatively. He can’t believe what he just saw.

The other person doesn’t say anything back, all Kevin can hear is them crying into the phone. Big sobs with hitching breath that Kevin would remember anywhere even without words or the phone number that had been on the display.

“Generico?” Kevin asks, even though he knows it’s him. “Holy shit, it’s you. Are you okay? What –“

Kevin’s practically falling over himself to get the words out. On the other end, Generico’s managed to stop crying long enough to choke out “Yo Recuerdo. Recuerdo todo, Kevin,”

Then everything goes quiet except for Kevin’s own heartbeat that’s trying to pound its way out of his chest.

Generico hung up on him.

“What the fuck,” Kevin says, staring at the ‘call ended’ screen until it goes dark.

“What the _FUCK?”_ he repeats, getting angry. He’d thought Generico was _dead._ Hell, everyone else had, too.

Now that he thinks about it, though, he’s not sure where that rumor had started. There were all kinds of variations on it, no one seemed to agree on how exactly he’d died, but everyone agreed that El Generico was dead. So if he wasn’t dead then _where the fuck had he been?_

Kevin hits Redial with force, like Generico will hear Kevin’s displeasure on the other side when it rings.

Except it doesn’t ring.

“ _Beepbeep_. The call cannot be completed as dialed. Please Redial or –“ the robot voice says.

Kevin grabs his pillow and screams into it.

This isn’t _fair_. Generico can’t just run away again now that he’s made himself known. No one’s even going to _believe_ Kevin. There’s no one he can even _tell_.

Except… That’s not true. There’s _one_ person he can tell. And that person is his friend again and will _listen_ which is something Kevin still finds hard to believe.

Kevin gets up, doesn’t even bother to put on proper clothes or shoes, and marches straight out of his hotel room and down the hall in bare feet and PJs. He knocks firmly on the door, not caring if he’s waking up the person inside or in any of the nearby rooms.

The door opens, just a crack.

“What do you _want_ , Kev? It’s 3 in the goddamn morning,” Sami hisses, more considerate of the neighbors. Kevin can’t see his face.

“Generico’s alive,” Kevin says. He’s trying to sound angry, but even he knows he failed and instead hits something more like hurt and awestruck at the same time.

“I don’t have time for this,” Sami sighs. “It was a dream, Kev. Go back to sleep,”

“He _called me_. I have proof!” Kevin says, waving his phone around.

There’s a long pause where neither of them makes a move, and then Sami shuts the door. Kevin hears the slide of the security chain being undone, and then the door opens fully.

Sami gives Kevin a disapproving look. His eyes are red, Kevin must have woken him up. Not that Kevin really cares. This is more important than a little sleep.

“Generico’s alive,” Kevin says again, entering Sami’s hotel room.

“Bullshit,” Sami says. “He was killed defending the orphanage from banditos,”

But his voice waivers and he won’t meet Kevin’s eyes. Sami never did like to talk about Generico.

Kevin shoves his phone in Sami’s face.

“Look! That’s Generico’s number that just called me. It was definitely him on the other side of the call, too,”

Sami takes the phone and hits redial.

“There’s no one there,” Sami says flatly.

“I know. The asshole must have taken out his sim card or something after he called me. But look, it was definitely an incoming call,” Kevin says.

There’s a dent in the wall of Sami’s room where someone has thrown something in the past, Kevin notices. What a shitty place for WWE to book for them.

Sami nods, unable to deny that. His face is pale.

“What makes you so sure it was him? Why would he even call you anyway?” Sami says.

“I sent him something that reminded me of him. And are you seriously asking me how _I_ know it was _Generico?_ There’s literally no one in the world I know as well as him, except for y –“

Kevin stops, looks away from Sami’s searching gaze. “I fucking know Generico, OK?” he mutters.

“Just let it go,” Sami says, voice sad, handing Kevin back his phone. “It’s been years with no contact. Him being alive doesn’t change anything,”

“Are you kidding me? This changes everything!” Kevin says incredulously. What is Sami’s problem tonight? Shouldn’t he be happy Generico’s alive?

“What, exactly, does it change?” Sami asks pointedly.

“I –“ Kevin tries to think of a retort but nothing comes out, for once.

“Do you think he’s going to just show up at Smackdown one night? Fall into your arms? Tell you everything will be alright? Because I can guarantee you he’s not. He won’t,” Sami says, viciously.

It might have hurt less if Sami had stabbed him.

“How do you know?” Kevin says defensively.

Sami sucks in a sharp breath.

“I…” Sami shakes his head. He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “No, you’re right. You’d know him better than me. So go ahead, have hope. Maybe one day it’ll happen,”

Unease sits in Kevin’s stomach like a boulder.

“Go back to bed, Kevin,” Sami says gently. He ushers Kevin to the door, but stops short of actually touching him.

“…Are you ok?” Kevin asks at the door.

“Yeah. Yeah, of course. I’m just tired. Try to get some sleep,” Sami says.

Something’s not right, but Kevin’s already had his world shaken once tonight, he’s not sure he can take another.

 

They’re sharing a room this time with twin beds. Kevin’s grateful for it, because Sami’s been weird for the last couple days. Sami’s been preoccupied but is stubbornly refusing to talk about it, so Kevin’s just glad for the opportunity to keep an eye on him.

Kevin lounges on his bed, flipping idly through the tv channels and listening to the sound of the shower running in the bathroom. He lands eventually on a cheesy horror movie and lets it play, but he’s honestly not paying that much attention.

The shower stops. Sami comes out of the bathroom in his sleep pants towel and drying his hair. He tosses the towel on his bed and crawls into Kevin’s bed next to him to watch the movie. They watch the lead actress run from her ‘evil twin’ which is just the same actress in a bad wig and holding a butcher knife.

“I’m your guardian angel, right?” Sami asks eventually, not looking away from the tv.

“Yeah, definitely,” Kevin says. There really are no other words to describe everything Sami is. Beautiful and Kind and Terrifying.

“And you love me best, right?” Sami asks.

Kevin shifts onto his side to get a better look at Sami, surprised.

“What? That’s dumbest question you’ve ever asked, and that’s saying something,”

Sami looks upset, and Kevin can tell that this is important.

 “Would you rather have Generico here? Since apparently he’s around again,” Sami asks.

Kevin can barely process the question, and it nearly breaks his brain to try. Generico instead of Sami? Kevin thinks back over the last few years and tries to fit an awkward, genius, luchador into it and…can’t. Too much would change, it’s inconceivable.

“Because I’m not him,” Sami says. “I can’t…be him,”

Sami still won’t look at Kevin.

“I never asked you to,” Kevin says.

“Sometimes it feels like you’re the only one who hasn’t,” Sami confesses. “Especially since Hell in a Cell,”

“What the fuck. Who would _dare_ I will kick their asses, just tell me who,” Kevin says, scrambling to sit upright in his rage.

Sami sighs. “No one’s outright said anything but they keep giving me these looks, right? Like ‘Generico would never. How could you?’ They don’t need to tell me that! I know he wouldn’t have done the things I have better than anyone. Because I _was_ him and now I’m not!”

Sami’s getting more and more worked up as he talks, by the end the words are spilling out of his mouth so fast Kevin can only keep up through sheer exposure to Sami’s antics. Sami’s gripping the comforter on the bed so tightly his knuckles are white.

Kevin hadn’t known. Not until Sami said the words. But once he’s said them it seems impossible that Kevin had never known, everything fitting together so perfectly. The sun rises in the East, the McMahon’s all need therapy, and Sami was Generico.

Kevin has to do something here, Sami’s quickly entering full blown panic attack mode, but Kevin’s never been all that good at being comforting.

‘You’ve only got one chance at this, Owens. Make it count,’ Kevin thinks.

 “He’s _better_ than me,” Sami says miserably, like the confession is painful. “Generico was some kind of _Saint_ and do you even comprehend the kind of pressure that is? Even if I wanted to I couldn’t… I’m angry. I’m jealous. I’m obsessive, and selfish,”

Kevin can hardly believe what he’s hearing. He laughs. It at least catches Sami’s attention and draws him out of his own brain. Sami looks up at him, brows furrowed in confusion.

“Generico wasn’t a saint!” Kevin says. “Anyone who said otherwise is full of shit. Trust me, no one knows Generico better than me. He was just as vicious and awful as the rest of us. How do you think he fit in so well despite being such a weirdo? I still have scars to prove it,”

Generico was good, and kind hearted, but that wasn’t all he was. He was a bit of everything, and just as flawed as anyone else. It was easy to idolize people who left you and paper over their rough edges with something lighter.

Sami shakes his head in denial. “Have you _heard_ the way people talk about him? When he…went away, they couldn’t just let him leave. He founded an orphanage, he died saving the kids from a fire. It just goes on and on and on! I can’t live up to that,”

Kevin grabs Sami’s chin and pushes so that Sami has to look him in the eyes. “ _So don’t_. Fuck their expectations or what _they_ want. You don’t owe them shit. Who does _Sami Zayn_ want to be? What does _Sami Zayn_ want?”

Sami looks shocked, like he hadn’t expected those questions or ever thought about it. But that’s stupid because he _must_ have thought about it before, during and after Hell in a Cell. Or maybe he hadn’t and had just been powering through on sheer stubbornness and refusal to look back which is just so fucking Sami that Kevin can barely stand it.

Sami relaxes underneath Kevin’s grip completely boneless like a weight has been lifted off him.

 “This. Just…this,” he says.

He pulls Kevin down for a kiss, and when it’s over he doesn’t pull away. He drags his lips across Kevin’s cheek, Kevin can feel the carefree smile.

“Thank you, Kev,” he says, and just for a second Kevin could have sworn he could feel the cloth of Generico’s mask between them but it’s gone just a quickly. The air in the room feels lighter, suddenly.

“You’re welcome. Both of you,” Kevin says, and pulls back so he can poke Sami’s forehead, which makes him go crosseyed and laugh. 

On the TV the old horror movie is over and a Rom-Com starts, but neither of them are really watching it.


End file.
